guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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