I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
