i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
