You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
A+ Viking dick
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
