Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
