A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
