i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
