just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
