Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Even my vagina gasped.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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