Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
