Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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