I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
