Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
