it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
