I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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