im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
