omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
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Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
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Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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