how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
