Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
