is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
