Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize