only if we run a train.
done.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I have tasted many bathrooms
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
