I must be too annoying 4 u.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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