there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
