I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
