your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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