I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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