she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
