There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
