Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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