in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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