apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
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