If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
