Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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