Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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