He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
