i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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