STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
