is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
