So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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