Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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