how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
