I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
