I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
