It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I understand Curling. That high.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
