4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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