My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
