Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
vagina is talking i cant
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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