I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
we made out on top of his cat.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
