im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
we're making bets on your personal life
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
