we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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