She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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