Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
