wat bout pragnant strippers??
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
being pregnant is like rehab
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
