home. puking in laundry basket.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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