Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
