i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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