hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
