so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Randomize