If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We are two peas in an std pod
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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