if only i could text you this smell
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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