just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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