I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
