Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
