Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
